My opinion: You’re doing it to distract yourself from becoming the person you’re meant to be.
Which is who?
You tell me. She might not look like what you’re pictured when you were age sixteen. Her job might not be cool, her hair might not be flowing like a mermaids, and she might really be serious about something or someone.
And she might be a lot happier than you are right now.
Who’s the person you’re meant to be?