Yeah, it’s poor. But that’s how I am.

Sometimes I’m thinking… I wonder why some things happened as they did.
I wish I could have my own Lane Kim, Lucas Scott, Dan Humphrey or how else all these friends are called in the series I keep watching all the time.
In fact, I had such kind of a friend.
One time I screwed it up by myself. One time it just faded away like so much other things in life.
But that wasn’t really how I imagine a best friend. It nearly was, but at last it didn’t worked out.
Well, there was one other person. One with whom I could be me all the time, without hiding. One who was always there for me, whatever was going on in my life. I talked to him and he understand, cause he knew every bit of me, every secret, everything.
It’s not that I have nobody I can talk to. Anyway sometimes I need someone other than my boyfriend.
And this someone was him.
But as always when a girl and a boy use to be good friends. One of them is crashin‘ it.
Sometimes I wish that I didn’t broke up our friendship, I wish we could’ve gotten over that.
We didn’t and we won’t.
So, I keep searching… maybe one day I’ll find another one that’s like him.

I miss u, Jake.

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